In a compelling episode of Success, Motivation & Inspiration, registered clinical counsellor Sabrina Trobak shared insights that resonated deeply with many. Her work centers on one devastating yet common core belief: “I’m not good enough.” This quiet thought, often formed in childhood, shapes how people view themselves, manage relationships, and cope with challenges well into adulthood.
Sabrina Trobak is the author of Not Good Enough: Understanding Your Core Belief and Anxiety and the founder of Trobak Holistic Counselling. With over 20 years of experience in education and now a thriving private practice in Fort St. John, BC, she brings a unique, real-world perspective to mental health, trauma, and emotional resilience.
Who Is Sabrina Trobak?
Sabrina Trobak is a registered clinical counsellor, author, and public speaker. Before launching her private practice, she spent two decades working in education as a teacher, vice principal, and school counsellor. That time gave her a front-row seat to the emotional challenges faced by both children and their families.
After training in a therapy model focused on core beliefs, Sabrina founded Trobak Holistic Counselling to help clients untangle the hidden thoughts that fuel anxiety, addiction, and emotional disconnection. Her practice focuses on assisting people to shift from feeling ‘not good enough’ to recognizing their worth and value.
Why “I’m Not Good Enough” Is the Root of So Many Struggles
At the heart of Sabrina’s work is one central idea: core beliefs drive behavior. A person who sincerely believes they are not good enough will unconsciously seek out experiences, relationships, and patterns that confirm this belief. It’s not intentional, but it is consistent.
This belief impacts self-esteem, resilience, parenting, decision-making, and emotional regulation. If left unexamined, it becomes the silent lens through which people interpret the world.
The Childhood Origins of Anxiety and Low Self-Esteem
Core beliefs are often formed early in life—sometimes through trauma, but also emotional neglect, criticism, or the absence of emotional education. For generations, emotions were ignored or suppressed. Children were taught to toughen up or get over it.
Without guidance on how to feel, express, or process emotions, many kids internalize the belief that they are somehow wrong, broken, or unworthy. As those kids grow into adults, they carry those beliefs into every aspect of their lives.
The Psychology of Reinforcement: How Adults Repeat the Pattern
According to Sabrina, the mind’s job is to confirm what it already believes. If someone thinks they are not good enough, they will unknowingly choose people and situations that reinforce that belief. They may downplay success, tolerate mistreatment, or self-sabotage to maintain the internal narrative.
This is why change is hard. Even when someone wants to improve, their subconscious mind works overtime to keep them in a familiar state of discomfort.
Why Self-Sabotage Feels Safer Than Change
Many people choose what they know, even if it’s painful, over the unknown. Sabrina Trobak has seen clients choose misery for decades because the idea of change feels too unsafe. High anxiety often means resistance to anything new.
Progress begins when someone is willing to take even a small step in a new direction. But that first leap requires a flicker of self-belief.
The Role of Addiction, Anger, and Distraction in Hiding Core Beliefs
Unprocessed core beliefs show up in behavior: drinking, drug use, gambling, overeating, perfectionism, chronic busyness, even cheating or lying. These coping mechanisms offer short-term relief from emotional pain but ultimately reinforce the same harmful core beliefs.
For example, a night of heavy drinking may temporarily mask pain. But when guilt, regret, or fallout arrive the next day, it only deepens the belief: “I’m not good enough.”
The Male Experience: Anger as a Socially Acceptable Emotion
Men are often conditioned to view anger as a sign of strength. But Sabrina Trobak explains that anger is usually a mask. Underneath it are emotions many men were taught to avoid: fear, shame, helplessness, loneliness.
Anger becomes a default. It pushes people away, creates space, and protects vulnerability. Unfortunately, it also leads to isolation, broken relationships, and a hardened self-image.
The Female Experience: Passive Aggression and the Need to Control
Women, on the other hand, may express their lack of self-worth through micromanaging, passive aggression, or emotional withdrawal. Social norms have often told women to serve others, stay quiet, or avoid confrontation.
This internal conflict creates its emotional pressure cooker—one that’s more subtle but just as damaging.
How to Recognize If You’re Living from a Limiting Core Belief
Sabrina Trobak outlined common signs that someone is operating from a “not good enough” core belief:
- Constant negative self-talk
- Anger or irritability
- People-pleasing or avoidance
- Burnout or chronic exhaustion
- Struggles with intimacy and vulnerability
These patterns are often labeled as “bad habits” or “just the way I am,” but they’re symptoms of deeper issues with self-worth.
Trauma vs. Anxiety: What’s the Difference—and the Connection?
Many people believe anxiety is about the trigger—heights, crowds, and public speaking. But as Sabrina Trobak explains, anxiety isn’t about the thing. It’s about whether you believe you can handle the thing.
Trauma undermines that belief. If someone’s self-worth was broken in childhood, their confidence is fragile. That leads to anxiety. Avoiding those triggers, though common, only strengthens the anxiety. Facing them builds confidence.
The Cost of Avoidance and the Power of Exposure
Avoidance makes the world smaller. Every time a person avoids a trigger, they reinforce the belief that they’re not strong enough to face it.
Sabrina Trobak encourages clients to lean into discomfort in small, manageable steps. Every time someone chooses action over avoidance, they build internal evidence that says, “I can do this.”
Relationships: Do They Heal or Hurt Core Beliefs?
Relationships are mirrors. If someone feels unworthy, they’re often drawn to partners who validate that belief. Sabrina Trobak explains that people tend to attract others who are operating on a similar emotional level.
Healing happens when someone raises their emotional baseline. As self-worth improves, they’re drawn to healthier people and more likely to recognize red flags before it’s too late.
Parenting and Emotional Health: Breaking the Cycle
Parents often unknowingly pass down their unworthiness. Sabrina Trobak emphasizes: Children absorb what we model. If parents don’t feel good enough, kids will pick up that belief.
Her top advice for parents: work on yourself. A healthier parent teaches emotional resilience by example, not through lectures, but through behavior.
Raising Emotionally Healthy Kids: The Emotion List Exercise
One of Sabrina’s most practical tools is the emotion word list. She encourages parents to print these lists and post them around the house—in the kitchen, bathroom, and car.
Why? Naming emotions helps people recognize and understand them. Young children often say, “I don’t know,” when asked how they feel. Using third-person prompts—like identifying how a character in a book feels—makes emotional discussion less threatening. Over time, this builds emotional fluency.
Humor and Healing: Why Laughing Through Pain Works
Healing doesn’t have to be heavy all the time. Sabrina Trobak uses humor to balance tough conversations. Laughter releases tension and helps people feel more at ease. It builds a connection. When healing includes lightness, it becomes more sustainable.
The Role of Public Speaking in Expanding Her Impact
Sabrina’s work reaches far beyond the therapy room. She appears on podcasts, leads workshops, and speaks publicly about mental health, relationships, and core beliefs. This gives her a way to scale her impact and reach people who may never book a therapy session.
What Sabrina Trobak Wants You to Know
“You are worthy of whatever you want to do,” she says. “The good thing is: it’s up to you. The bad thing is: it’s up to you.”
That message echoes through her book, her sessions, and her public appearances. Fundamental transformation doesn’t come from fixing what’s broken—it comes from recognizing that you were never broken to begin with.
Call to Action: Start With the Book, Take the Next Step
If Sabrina Trobak’s message resonates with you, start with her book Not Good Enough: Understanding Your Core Belief and Anxiety. It’s available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other major retailers.
For tools, resources, or to connect directly, visit trobakholistic.org. Whether you’re a parent, a partner, or someone simply tired of carrying emotional baggage that isn’t yours, the journey to “good enough” starts with one decision: to believe you are.