Bill DeBarba has a way of making life feel simpler. On this episode of Success, Motivation & Inspiration, he shares lessons from his book, The Process of Living, and his decades of experience in business and personal development. His message is clear: align your thoughts, feelings, and actions, and you’ll stop spinning in circles. Lose that alignment, and life gets messy fast. What follows is a deep dive into his ideas, stories, and practices, structured so readers can apply them immediately.
Who Is Bill DeBarba?
Bill DeBarba describes his purpose as helping people recognize what makes them who they are and what they can do with that awareness. He has spoken to diverse groups—prison inmates, church congregations, food bank volunteers, and business teams. Wherever people gather, his message resonates because it addresses universal human struggles.
For more than forty years, Bill ran a successful business in software and support. That career exposed him to high-pressure situations, demanding clients, and the realities of leadership. Those experiences, combined with his work teaching others, informed The Process of Living, a book designed to bring clarity and control to everyday life.
He knows firsthand how easily people hand away their power by blaming others, and he’s dedicated himself to showing that ownership is the first step toward real freedom.
Why He Wrote The Process of Living
Bill says life is simpler than people make it. At its core, life comes down to three elements: thought, feeling, and action. Most people allow those three to pull in different directions. Their thoughts aim one way, their feelings run wild in another, and their actions contradict both. The result is confusion and frustration.
The Process of Living explains that alignment is everything. When your thoughts, feelings, and actions reinforce each other, you gain focus and energy. You move forward instead of spinning in place. This clarity was the motivation for writing the book: to show people how much control they actually have when they stop complicating the basics.
From Blame to Ownership
One of the strongest points in the interview is Bill’s warning about blame. Too many people say things like, “I feel this way because she said that,” or, “I acted this way because he did this.” That mindset gives away your control. It convinces your subconscious that you are powerless.
The Process of Living flips that script. Bill insists that you own your feelings, own your thoughts, and own your actions. When you accept that they are yours, you gain the ability to change them. At first this responsibility may feel frightening, but Bill emphasizes that it is the most empowering shift you can make. Owning your life, rather than blaming others, is the gateway to freedom.
A Case Study: Payroll Panic in Manhattan
To illustrate how misalignment shows up, Bill shares a story from his software business. A client in Manhattan called him in a panic. Payroll was due, and something had gone wrong. The client opened the conversation by yelling, cursing, and blaming the software. His feelings were dominated by fear. His thoughts and actions were clouded by anger. That combination nearly guaranteed failure.
Instead of responding in kind, Bill waited for the man to pause, then calmly asked what the actual problem was. The client handed the phone to an employee who was new and had simply made an error. Within five minutes, the issue was solved and payroll went through.
Lesson: when feelings, thoughts, and actions move in different directions, problems multiply. Had Bill responded with anger, the client would have missed payroll, employees would have quit, and the business relationship would have collapsed. By staying aligned, he turned a volatile situation into a quick solution.
Daily Practices That Keep You Grounded
Bill maintains his own alignment with daily rituals. His mornings begin with simple meditation—not mystical, just quiet time to settle. He follows with light exercise to energize his body. Then he looks at his checklist, making sure his tasks support each other and his larger goals.
This morning routine reflects the principles in The Process of Living. Meditation calms feelings. A checklist organizes thoughts. Exercise directs energy into action. Together they keep him aligned before the day begins.
The 60-Second Reset
Not every reset needs a long practice. Bill recommends taking just sixty seconds between meetings or tasks. Sit quietly. Breathe. Don’t problem-solve. Don’t replay the past or anticipate the future. Simply allow your mind to settle. After sixty seconds, you re-enter the situation with focus and clarity.
This practice demonstrates the heart of The Process of Living: even in short windows, you can realign thought, feeling, and action.
Effective Self-Talk
Words matter, especially the ones you say to yourself. Bill emphasizes that self-talk should reflect where you want to go, not where you fear you might end up. He teaches his stepson to use a mantra: “Good people want good things for me.” That phrase sets the expectation for the day.
In contrast, negative self-talk like “I hope today doesn’t suck” programs your mind to deliver exactly that outcome. The subconscious does not process the “don’t.” It hears “today will suck.” By choosing constructive self-talk, you prime your mind and actions to create positive outcomes.
Journaling for Clarity
Many people avoid journaling because they imagine it requires daily entries or hours of writing. Bill takes a practical approach. He journals once a week, setting aside thirty minutes on Friday. During that time, he reflects on what he accomplished, what setbacks occurred, and what he wants to improve next week.
This approach keeps journaling manageable and impactful. It’s about recognizing patterns, not documenting every moment. Journaling supports The Process of Living by aligning thought and action through consistent reflection.
Meditation Without the Mystique
Meditation often gets dismissed as something exotic or impractical. Bill strips away those misconceptions. Meditation doesn’t require robes, chants, or long retreats. It can be as simple as sitting in a chair, breathing deeply, and focusing on the present moment.
Start with one minute. Focus on breath going in and out. Expect your mind to wander. When it does, restart without judgment. Over time, the practice lengthens naturally. The goal is not perfection but the quiet alignment of thought and feeling, which then supports action.
Leadership by Example
In leadership, alignment matters more than commands. Bill explains that employees and clients mirror the behavior of their leaders. When leaders respond to problems with blame and anger, the culture deteriorates. When they model calm, focus, and problem-solving, the culture strengthens.
He notes that some of his most frustrated clients became his most loyal after experiencing how his team handled difficult situations. By solving problems first and addressing causes later, he showed that the business cared about results and relationships. That example built trust.
Family Lessons
The same principles apply at home. Parents are leaders in the family, and children watch closely. If parents come home each day complaining about bosses or clients, children learn to disrespect teachers and authority figures. If parents instead model responsibility, positivity, and problem-solving, children adopt those traits.
Bill illustrates this with his stepson. By encouraging affirmations like “Good people want good things for me,” he gives his stepson a framework for positive expectations. That small daily habit builds resilience and optimism.
The 7-Day Starter Plan
To help beginners, Bill suggests a simple 7-day plan to practice The Process of Living:
Day 1: Identify one recurring stress and define the outcome you want.
Day 2: Write three thoughts that support that outcome.
Day 3: Choose one helpful feeling and one small action that align.
Day 4: Practice three 60-second resets before important tasks.
Day 5: Journal about wins and setbacks.
Day 6: Apply alignment principles in one hard conversation.
Day 7: Keep one new habit and drop one old drag.
This plan proves that you don’t need years to see results. In a single week, you can experience the benefits of alignment.
How the Book Has Evolved
The second edition of The Process of Living reflects feedback from readers. The first edition included technical explanations about how signals from the mind influence life outcomes. While accurate, many readers found it overwhelming. In the updated edition, Bill moved those details into an appendix, letting casual readers skip them while still providing depth for those interested.
The book also received tighter edits and clearer examples, making it more practical. The target reader is anyone who feels stuck but is ready to own their life. By understanding thought, feeling, and action, readers can unlock the power to create change.
Lessons Across Every Audience
Bill’s speaking career has taken him into prisons, food banks, businesses, and churches. He noticed the same patterns everywhere. Some people listen with curiosity and apply what they learn. Others dismiss the ideas. But when just a handful in the room begin to adopt alignment, their lives change dramatically.
He points to the women in a second-chance prison program. Out of twenty-five participants, five or six leaned in, asked questions afterward, and applied the lessons. Those few were enough to confirm that the message worked. Seeing people in tough circumstances take control of their lives reinforced Bill’s commitment to teaching The Process of Living.
What People Get Wrong About Positive Thinking
Positive thinking is often misrepresented. Bill explains that simply working hard without aligning feelings can lead to failure. His first business—van conversions in the 1970s—demanded hard work, but he had no passion for it. When the market collapsed, the business did too.
By contrast, when he shifted into software, he still worked hard, but he loved what he was doing. That love aligned his feelings with his thoughts and actions. The difference was striking. One business collapsed despite effort, while the other flourished because effort was aligned with passion.
Takeaway: positive thinking is not about denying problems but about aligning thought, feeling, and action toward solutions.
The Final Challenge
At the end of the episode, Bill leaves viewers with one simple challenge: pay attention. Notice your thoughts. Notice your feelings. Notice your actions. Stop blaming others. Own your life. This awareness alone can shift the trajectory of your future.
Why This Episode Matters
This episode of Success, Motivation & Inspiration is more than an interview. It’s a practical guide to living with alignment. Bill DeBarba and The Process of Living give viewers a framework they can apply in daily routines, business challenges, family dynamics, and personal growth.
The simplicity of thought, feeling, and action working together is the strength of the message. It’s accessible, actionable, and proven in real-world stories. For anyone who feels stuck or spinning, this conversation offers a way forward.
At its core, The Process of Living is about ownership. It’s about moving from victimhood to responsibility. It’s about stopping the spin by bringing thought, feeling, and action into alignment. Bill DeBarba has lived it, taught it, and distilled it into a clear framework. This episode captures that clarity, offering viewers the tools they need to take control of their own lives.