Have you ever wondered how you could better manage moments when people are difficult and emotional? They could be customers, colleagues, friends or family. We’ve all dealt with someone in our life that’s a challenge.
My guest today has spent a lot of his life researching, teaching and practicing the skills that could help you to manage your own emotions and emotional people.
He’s taught these skills to huge audiences in many countries, and he’s here with me today to share a little of his story as an author, trainer, and entrepreneur.
I’d like to welcome John Faisandier, from Wellington New Zealand.
Below are some insights from John Faisandier. Enjoy!
What is your personal definition of success?
I am successful when I keep loving the people I meet. Especially those in my close family. I am successful because I keep my enthusiasm for the work I do, in my case teaching others to relate well to one another, especially when emotions run high.
Success is staying positive, managing the tough times and enjoying the good times.
Success is being comfortable to be me.
Can you share the steps you take daily to improve?
Most days I meditate twice – morning and afternoon for about 15 minutes each time – this helps me stay centered.
I work out at the gym 3 – 4 times a week.
I get up early, organize my day which helps me get things done.
I read, especially about my specialist subject and about business and marketing.
I make sure I spend quality time with people I love.
I get plenty of good quality sleep.
What is your advice for someone making an important decision?
Take your time. Calm down. Take time to think through the issues.
Let yourself know what you really need.
Consult with others when they are affected.
Ask the advice of wise people, but better talk it over with someone who will listen well and who trusts that you can make the right decision for yourself.
Tell me about a specific moment that set you on the path you’re on now?
When I was born! lol.
The moment I realized I needed to do my own personal therapy. I was responding to a difficult colleague in the same way over and over and I needed to do something about my part in that. This led me on to train in psychodrama, deal with personal issues that kept me in the priesthood when I really wanted to leave.
My current business started when the hospital I worked at as a psychodramatist, was reducing services and my job became part-time. I left to take my vision of teaching the world to be empathetic. A crisis is an opportunity.
If you could recommend one book for our audience, what would it be?
Thriving Under Fire: turn difficult customers into business success. That’s my book. Not just for business people but lessons for all of life.
Otherwise Daring Greatly by Brene Brown. The gifts of imperfection.
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- Thriving Under Fire: Turn Difficult Customers Into Business Success Book by John Faisandier
- Daring Greatly by Brené Brown
- Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown
Which character traits do you value most?
How do you push through tough times?
I recall the times when I have already managed tough times and know that I can do it again.
I calm myself down.
I talk with others, especially taking the risk to share my vulnerability.
What inspires you?
I’m inspired by the stories of ordinary people making sense of their lives, especially those who have gone through difficult experiences.
I have worked in Bangladesh, 10 personal visits and organized about 30 other trainers visits. People with very little struggle to make a good life for those they love.
How do you manage and prioritize opportunities?
I spend time thinking about my day and set out a plan, which sometimes I stick to.
I am aware that I can easily chase the next new shiny thing. So saying “no” is important.
What advice would you give to your 18-year-old self?
Speak up sooner about what is going on for you.
Just because it wasn’t okay to speak up in your family doesn’t mean to say it has to stay that way.
Take a chance with people you can trust.
don’t keep doing what is not right for you.
You don’t have to please people all the time.