Years ago, I was dating a girl who I knew I’d spend the rest of my life with. She had a little boy from a previous marriage, that I loved like my own son. He was the coolest little kid and he followed me around like I walked on water.
Just a few months after we started dating, I started saving money for either his college tuition, or to help him start his own company when he got older.
Her family was incredible & I practiced my Spanish every day so I could speak with them more fluently.
I loved her & her little boy like you would not believe. Anything I did, he wanted to be part of. He loved working on little science kits we built together, and he loved riding 4-wheelers, horses, & learning to shoot a rifle too.
The Big Question
After a year and a half, I met with her dad & asked for his permission, to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage. I was scared to death but he hugged me & told me he’d be honored to have me as a part of their family. I was so excited!
From the time we started dating, I’d chosen to honor her & wait until marriage (not only to follow God’s Will, but also as a sign of respect for her).
I often had flowers delivered to her at work, or a small gift to let her know I was thinking of her. We picked out her wedding ring together. I think I was even more excited than she was.
The Big Surprise
One day, her little boy came to me crying & said he wanted to come live with me & not his mom or he would never be able to see me again.
I tried to console him & let him know we would all have a beautiful house & live together as soon as his mom & I got married but I couldn’t get him to calm down, & I didn’t understand why he kept saying he wanted to live with me instead.
Later that evening, she confessed that she had been cheating on me with a guy she worked with. The guy was married & had kids of his own! I was absolutely devastated.
I was sure it was my fault… This was the girl of my dreams! How did I screw this up? We did everything together & we had never even had an argument!
What did this guy have that I didn’t?
This guy wasn’t drooling over her. He wasn’t sending flowers & didn’t have time to spend with her because he had a wife and kids at home!
I spent weeks depressed, humiliated & mentally crushed. I rode my motorcycle in ways that should have got me arrested, without regard to my own safety. Maybe I was hoping I’d “accidentally” lose my life, so I didn’t have to deal with the pain.
I stayed single for years. I decided to learn, read books, study, expand my business & grow personally so I actually deserved the right girl when she finally came along.
Here’s What I Did Wrong
As I read, listen to audiobooks, & have conversations with very successful people on my podcast, I learned what drove her away! Everyone wants someone they can’t have!
We all want to feel like we’re with someone who is slightly out of our league. That’s why so many people end up in relationships with people who blow them off & treat them poorly.
If you’re trying to win the heart of someone who seems to have lost interest, stop chasing them!
No one wants to be drooled over. Start working on yourself to become someone who’s actually worthy of the person of your dreams… (You may not have met them yet).
What Happens When You Value Yourself?
A while later, the girl who broke my heart, came back to ask for another chance. At this point, I had already launched numerous successful companies & mentally, I had grown.
I realized I didn’t need to put up with someone who didn’t respect me & I declined her offer without thinking twice about it.
Put yourself in a state of constant growth & improvement. Don’t settle for someone who’s not doing the same.
I guarantee you’ll be a different person a year from today if you focus every day on learning & personal growth. If you only finish 4 books a month, in just a year, you’ll have 48x more opportunities to gather wisdom & insight, than a person who didn’t.
Don’t chase someone who doesn’t want to be with you. If you see them a year from now, they’ll likely be in the position they’re in today & you’ll be in a much better place, both emotionally & financially!